Chris Lowrey

It’s funny how a particular theme immerses one at various points in time. It is happening to me now, after having returned from an incredible 10 days in Egypt. First there was the Iron Maiden concert and DVD ‘ Powerslave’ – where all the imagery is centred upon iconic Ancient Egypt – King Tut’s death mask, pyramids and of course their mascot Eddie, who happens to be draped in bandages like a mummy. Then there are the Grade 5 classes in Jersey City, where four of my schools lie, studying Ancient Egypt. There was the visit to ‘The Strand’ and ‘Barnes and Nobles’ bookstores, I was looking for material for Black History Month and Free Verse poetry and I stumbled inadvertently into a display on Ancient Egypt. The movie 10,000 Years BC, with its CGI construction of the pyramids. On A and E TV Channel – a special on King Ramses the 2. New students arriving in a Grade 4 class at PS. 11 – from Egypt. Certainly I’m more attuned to Egypt because of my experience – and it seems to be following me everywhere… Egypt…the ancient place of mysteries, so much to learn and so much left unexplained. Tales of the depravity and heroics of ancient pharaohs, phenomenal architectural feats from a hard working and industrious nation of many long years ago. I think of epic journeys through unforgiving desert regions, famine and death, prosperity and riches and all tied to the worship of Ancient Gods and a level of determination that is difficult to fathom in the modern age. Then there is the ‘modern day’ culture immersed within the contrast of old and new. All this is Egypt! The ancient buildings dotting the landscape in a third world country gradually coming to grips with the insanity and fast pace of modern times. Freeways through the 20 Million strong populated Cairo where waiting at lights in a tour mini bus, you can find yourselves flanked by a BMW transporting an affluent sheik and a horse and cart piled 20 feet high in palm leaves with six children sitting on top. The gigantic river of life known as the Nile, lifeblood of the country and from where all things lead flanked by unlimited miles of undulating desert mountain and plains … On the 15th of February after working until 3:30 p.m. at Brooklyn school PS 251. my good buddy Dennis dropped me off at Terminal 7 at JFK to catch my 6:30 p.m. Egyptair flight. As usual the week preceding such a trip was spent with preparing but also catching up and getting ahead of work requirements so one can ‘relax’ on such an adventure. Although 18 hour travel days are contradictory to this anyway… The flight was 9 and half hours direct to Cairo and 11 and a half back, beyond my understanding! Upon arriving at Cairo airport I was met by the main tour leader, from ‘Memphis Tours’, 25 year old Hussan, dressed in an immaculate three-piece suit. I paid the $15 for my visa and Hussan led me out to the bus to meet my driver, baggage carrier and trainee tour guide – I felt like Kid Rock with an entourage like that! I had thought of just winging it around Egypt on my own, but with just ten days, so much to see and do, plus a level of wariness being the first time I’d travelled through the Middle East, I thought it prudent to package it up. Additionally, negotiating my way around the third biggest city on earth, Cairo, the ‘Mother Of The World’, swayed my decision and I was grateful that I went this way in the end. Hussan and I hit it of immediately, he spoke excellent English and we were trading barbs within no time. When I told him my nickname was Ram after being asked he immediately retorted ‘No, not while in Egypt, I now christen you Ramses!’ OK, fair enough, not being sure why, but happy to roll with it. Those of you more up on Ancient Egypt would have picked up the significance but blissfully happy in my ignorance I laughed and marvelled as the bus driver negotiated his way on a four lane highway, 6 and 7 wide with traffic – New York is like Winchelsea in comparison. Within an hour we were stopped for a bite to eat, a swarma of course, and the best I’d ever had, before arriving at the mighty Pyramids of Giza! No photos, magazine shoots or TV shows can prepare one for the moment the last remaining ancient wonder of the world explodes into view. At approximately 500 feet tall and covering 13 acres the Great Pyramid stretches opulently, effortlessly into the sky. Having been constructed since around 2,500 BC they make one feel small and insignificant. It must surely the most incredible man made creation I have laid eyes on. The Pyramids of Khafre and Menkaure, the two smaller pyramids, sit in concession in the distance but are no less marvellous to look at –just smaller. Immediately we made out way to the ideal vantage point to be bombarded by touts and ‘sales folk’. Fortunately I had Hussan to guide me plus some travel ‘gut feel' myself so after a long while staring and soaking in these vast structures I was up for a camel ride! The spitting, moody animals of rumour proved an exaggeration and I enjoyed an engrossing experience, riding over mountains of sand until arriving at the photo spot where you can stand on your beast, point to the top of the pyramid and hold your hands at a distance so as to demonstrate the depth of the pyramid. Cheesy tourist stuff – but hey, you got to do it! It was not lost on me that only 15 hours before I had been working at a school in New York City. On the leaving the pyramids I was already negotiating with Hussan to come back for a second visit, when I returned to Cairo in a week for the final leg of the tour. It was at the fragrance store where the contradiction within the tour guide fraternity raised its ugly head for the first time. Hussan wanted to look after me but of course wanted to get his people some business as well, so I obliged, spending a small amount on some after shave, which I’ll probably never use. We also went to the Golden Eagle papyrus factory, where I did not spend, even though enthralled by the process of making the ancient paper and the masterpieces on offer- prudent to get the lay of the land first I figured! At 7 p.m. Hussan gave me my ticket and loaded me on the train for Aswan, the ancient Nubian city, far South of Cairo, close to the Egyptian and Sudanese borders. This was an overnight train trip from where I would really begin ‘my adventure’ before gradually working my way North towards Cairo and taking in as much as possible on the way. Jetlagged, I decided on a meal and a couple of beers, and then some sleep to recover and be refreshed upon arriving in Aswan. Of course all good intentions come unstuck, especially when one discovers a party carriage that serves alcohol and some good company! On entering the carriage I spotted a 30 year old Aussie and he spotted me! Ash was on his honeymoon, a New Yorker until he was 13 then a Melbournian ever since – we had a bit in common then. He had followed his sweetheart to Abu Dhabi and been there three months. He hated the place and being an Aussie didn’t like the no alcohol rule much either! His wife was exhausted and catching up on sleep and Ash was thirsty! We immediately hit it off and started on the Luxor beers. Shortly we were joined by a group of ten students, 6 girls and 4 guys from the UK on a study trip – they were already delirious, drinking top shelf and Ash and I laughed hysterically at their 20 year old party tricks – the old backwards cigarette trick, skolling, smoking through the nose, erotic dancing…you can imagine! All this to the back drop of Donna Summer’s ‘Hot Stuff’ blaring from the tinny speakers with four or five amused Egyptian staff looking on. We had a blast, long, long into the night and when I left I remember being shocked at the bill – not the price, the quantity consumed! Must have been a good night as Ahmed woke me at 7:30 a.m. calling ‘Mister Mister! We in Aswan soon – breakfast is here!’ ‘Aw. Ahmed another half hour’ I replied, as though we had known each other 15 years, and it felt like it. I struggled up for breakfast, scraped the fur off the tongue, washed, repacked and in walked Ahmed with my carry bag! ‘Er… Sir you left this in the party car last night!’ ‘Oh, er, no problems, thanks mate’ I replied glad to get my two cameras, Ipod and other stuff back! Sloppy that – and rare for me on the road, El Micko would not be impressed! After a terrible breakfast and feeling groggy I tipped Ahmed and was met in Aswan by Mohammed – I learned quickly that seemingly everyone is named Mohammed or its abbreviation Ahmed! We dropped off the belongings at Hotel Cleopatra (naturally!) and headed off on the three hour journey to Abu Simble. That was enjoyable, for the first 20 minutes – seas of desert in a comfortable car, but that was all I saw, I woke up 2 and a half hours later in Abu Simble 300 odd km’s from Aswan! Perfect I thought – the same back – catch up on jet lag and hangover all at once! Groggily strolling along we spent some time getting in and then ambled along a desert track around a large mound of sand and then I was floored… I had come face to face with the Abu Simble statues of King Ramses the 2nd – surely one of the mightiest warriors that ever lived. I don’t want to make this a history lesson, as it well could be, I am not qualified for it, but I will mention some details- although if you search Wikipedia or world’s populations you’ll get conflicting numbers everywhere! The Abu Simble statues are around 35 meters wide and 20 meters high, they are all carved out of one stone. After being originally carved in the 13th century B.C. they were moved in the 1960’s in sections to avoid being flooded over and they sit there as intimidating and as grand as they must have 3,000 years ago. They were designed to protect the Nubia region of Egypt from attack and were visible the 50 miles or so to the Sudanese border making a clear statement of who ruled the area. Each of the statues was of Ramses of course, why bothering honouring anyone else when you are the legend! I could go on about Ramses the 2nd and he will pop up intermittently, but a few quick figures are worth nothing, again disputable, depending on your source – but I’m going on my Egyptian tour guides and subsequent readings as a reference! Ramses 2 came to power as a Pharaoh at 16 ahead of his older brothers. Quickly thereafter he led the country to a significant victory over the Hittites from Syria. The Syrian victory was particularly memorable in that this precocious 16 year old, leading his first army, when surrounded by the enemy drove back against them, breaking their defence and ultimately decimating them. Ramses 2 led the country for 67 years and died at 83 when the average life span was about 35. He built over two hundred monuments, temples and tombs to himself and his family and he also had 37 wives, most at the same time. From these women he fathered 106 sons and 96 daughters…he was quite the legend then! Standing back and looking at the temples was at once, incredulous, intimidating and inspiring, the details are meticulous and life like. The second statue is damaged only adding to the effect. I walked inside, under the shadow of these giants spending an hour or so marvelling at my first close up look at cartouches, hieroglyphs and smaller statues – many with their colour still in tact. This was to become a common experience! Next I walked to the smaller temples, built for the Goddess Hathor! Much like the smaller pyramids to the Great Pyramid these were no less significant. Again stunning to look at, I spent another hour inside and came to the early conclusion that female tombs were better maintained than men! This was one of the first times statues had been visible of the Queens – Ramses did love his lady friends after all, and Queen Nefertari, his favourite wife, was well represented, with two tall feathers between the goddess Hathor on her head. On reflection this experience was only second to the Pyramids for me, out of the way but an absolute must do for an Egypt trip – thanks Rob Jones for the great tip! I duly slept the way back and was in fine fettle on arriving back at the old Cleo. I rested up and then wandered down the market, sauntering in and out amongst herbs, spices, trinkets, and tourist gear and yet with a distinctive seductiveness to everywhere else I have been. A friendly yet pushy feel, with a mixture of turban wearing Muslims and casually dressed Christians (the country is divided 75% - 25% according to stats) and people calling out to me in English all over the place. I brought some sunglasses after I’d lost my originals on the train and hung out drinking Hibiscus tea and smoking sheshka in a local bar with the soccer on. No booze – no problems, the apple and liquorice smoke was just right! Mohammed and the driver met me at 8 a.m. the next morning and we headed to the Unfinished Obelix, these structures are prevalent over much of Egypt and are stunning in their markings, placement, and sheer size. This one had split down the middle before the workers could complete it. That must have been heartbreaking when one considers how they make these giant structures. Marking out the measurements on a solid rock the ancient Egyptians used a rock no larger than a softball and pounded away on the marked lines until getting the object to the depth required! This took months, they then placed soaked wood at the base of their diggings, waited for the wood to expand therefore cracking the rock and freeing the obelix from its moorings. It was then lifted into position – a monumental task and on this occasion, quite devastating, as they were close to finished. Via boat we then set of for the Philae Temple on Agilkian Island. These marvellous temples were almost lost to the distant past as the Old Aswan dam ensured they were flooded six months of the year. UNESCO moved in during the 1960’s and moved the structure, stone by stone, from Philae town nearby to the Island that will now be their permanent home. The Island was even sculptured to look like the ancient bird/man God Isis – nothing done by half measure in ancient Egypt! It is thought the structure has been around since 690 BC.The temple of Isis forms the main attraction and its central court contains a mammisi (birth house) dedicated to the God Horus. I got my photo taken with a policeman’s hat one here …for a 1 pound tip of course! We then headed to the ‘The Aswan High Dam’, the colossal structure which divides the Lake Nasser with the mighty Nile and allows the Egyptians to control the water flow avoiding flooding and ensuring a consistent water supply. Built from 1960-1970 it has been a saviour for many, many Egyptians… All in all, a great work of modern art but…uninspiring...I wanted more of the ancient monuments! That evening Mohammed wanted to take me for a tour of the market – ignoring my protestations that I could negotiate this myself he insisted that it would ensure I didn’t get ripped off. I relented in the end although I had had enough of Mohammed for the day – no problems with him at all, just that 10 hours of tour guide babble is ample for me – one can only retain so much! My first market experience that day was an uncomfortable one. I had begun to suspect that there was something in it for Mohammed as he was more passionate and intense about selling certain products than the market folk! I ended up buying some cheap bookmarks and spices, as presents, and that was fine, but resisted buying anything else, saying no quite clearly and often. Later, at the end of the market I got talking to a young Egyptian named Ali, who offered me tea and a chat, not really interested in selling me anything just to hear about the US and OZ. His mates came along as well and I was enjoying relaxing, chewing the fat with locals, even though they were difficult to understand at times. Mohammed was getting impatient and wanting me to shop but I told him I’d had enough and he could head back to the Nile Empress if he liked as I was happy hanging here and would make my own way back. That was not well received and Mohammed refused to leave, making all manner of excuse. Ali told me that he only wanted me to buy stuff so he could collect a commission! The dots started to connect. To get rid of Mohammed I relented and walked with him back to the Nile Empress, which we had left our bags at earlier (Mohammed was on the journey for the next three days with me and I now holding out some doubts about this!) I was unpopular for wanting to walk back quickly and was thinking that I should not be feeling like this! Mohammed insisted that if I go out later on, then he should accompany me. Of course after dinner, unpacking and a rest, I snuck off the boat and back to the market area without him. Sure enough the sly devil had been back to the three places were I brought something and collected his cut! He had even tried to pester Ali and his mates for a cut of the 8 Pounds ($1) I shouted them for a packet of Marlboro Golds. This really pissed me off! I hung out with Ali and his mates in their store and at one stage was left all alone while they attended to other stuff, I even served a customer and sold them some blue indigo just as Ali came back. He laughed hysterically and told me I was a natural and it wasn’t lost on me that this happened on my second night in Egypt! I had told the lads I wanted to buy ‘Aladdin’s Lamp’ – not the crap brass jobs that were everywhere, something classy and stylish – they took me to an old woman’s store and amongst endless cobwebs she had one such lamp, it was stunning with intricate design and in a stylish pewter – I brought it after the standard haggling and it is now the prize of my Egyptian trip. Later on the lads brought out the sheshka and some hash! I decided not to partake, even though I was tempted. Wandering back the couple of miles to the ship off my face probably wasn’t a smart idea! Still it was 11 p.m. before they packed up the shop and after many cups of tea I bade the lads’ farewell and headed back to the Nile Empress for the 2 a.m. departure time. The next morning as we were sailing along the Nile Mohammed asked me were I had gone, I told him and he was p****ed off. So then and there I decided to lay some ground rules, especially as he was to be with me for the next 4 days. Firstly, this was my trip and I would do what the hell I liked, second he was great as a tour guide and I was happy to have him guide me around the attractions, but I would not be attending any more markets or ‘ extra events’ concocted by him. That established, I had breakfast and a grumbling Mohammed took me on a tour of the stunning Edfu temple along the banks of the Nile. We rode to the ruins on a horse and cart where I made an innocent but misplaced faux pas commenting to Mohammad that the horse ‘looked skinny’. He told the driver (nice tact) who slid across the driver seat so I couldn’t see the horse. He was very poor, embarrassed and could barely feed his family and the horse was way down in the pecking order. The Edfu temple is the most completely preserved of all ancient temples. It contains the impressive Temple of Horus created during the Dynastic period around 57 BC and took much excavation to rediscover. There is the Great Court, Outer Hypostyle Hall, the very narrow Passage of Victory, the offering chamber – where foods, flowers and valuable possessions were laid out for the Gods and the Sanctuary of Horus, which still contains the polished granite shrine that once housed the gold cult statue of Horus. All around there are smaller shrines of other Gods; Hathor, Ra, Osiris and Jimi Hendrix (only kidding – just seeing if you were paying attention!) and I must have looked like a child set loose in Santa’s workshop to an onlooker. Just fascinating stuff. We again boarded the ship and had some relaxing hours cruising the Nile and marvelling at the farmers and crops along the East and west riverbanks, the desert in the background and the seemingly pristine cleanliness of the river! In the afternoon we stopped at the Kom-Ombu Temple another fine example of the splendour of the Egyptian monuments and testimony to countless hours of patience, skill and perseverance of the ancient Egyptians. Kom-Ombu was constructed largely by Cleopatra’s father, Ptolemy XII Neos Dionysos and features a completely symmetrical main axis, twin entrance, courts, colonnades, hypostyle halls and sanctuaries – a staggering work of architectural brilliance! What impressed me the most however was the giant mummified crocodiles and their clay coffins that had been dug up from the sacred-animal cemetery! That night on the boat was boring, I felt trapped and wanted to get off and spend more time wandering around the ancient cities and towns. Most of the guest were couples, in their 60’s or older and from Germany, Italy and France. The boats crew hosted a games night, but er… pouring glasses of wine from between your legs while blindfolded into a female's empty glass, also nestled between her legs failed to excite me much. Fortunately I had spent an hour or two photographing both a stunning sunset and moonrise at the same time from the top deck. Humbly I reckon the moonrise shots would make a great Pink Floyd album cover! Lying back in my surprisingly comfortable bed with the curtains open watching the Nile sale past under a moonlight sky with the Ipod on was an enjoyable to fade off into a comfortable sleep. The next day we arrived into the ancient city of ‘Thebes’ or Luxor as the conquering Arabs renamed it - Al-Uuqsur (The Palaces) rendered to Luxor in English. Welcome then to the "world's greatest open air museum” I knew in an instant that my Luxor experience was going to be a highlight! The Western bank of the river holds the farms, the poor, the factories and the Valley of the Kings and Queens. And this is where we headed first. The ancient Valley of the Kings, now that is something! Massive mountains of alabaster and sand housing the tombs of almost all the ancient pharaohs. I was able to visit four tombs in the time we had here. Basically one drives into a huge valley of mountains, caves and miles of sand and then walks into a den of history. Most of the ancient Egyptian Kings were buried here, including King Tut, Ramses 1-6, Thutmoses 1, Horemoheb and others of fame and repute. To get to the tombs mostly required steep walks up steps, crawling down through tunnels and then into a labyrinth of staircases, rooms, carvings, statues and burial chambers – all heavily tattooed in hieroglyphs. To describe this experience or indeed each of the four tombs would be a near impossibility – think a 4 –5 bedroom house inside, under ground and each room standing out for the other in either the message given, historical significance, colours used, thoughts behind it etc. Incredible experiences each and every one of them with the one real standout. The tomb of King Tut-Anhn-Kaman! Now we all know of the Ancient King Tut – gee whiz he is almost a pop culture superhero – like Jim Morrison or Che Guevara. The mythologies behind King Tut are everywhere and he was even played as a villain in the campy ‘Batman’ series of the 1960’s. If Tut were alive today you’d imagine he’d be sitting next to Bono, Nelson Mandella, The Dali Lama and Sting at ‘save the world’ meetings and the Queen’s honour list, revered as one of the great pop culture/ leaders of the world! A more modest size than the others, the pharaoh who led his country from age 9 until his mysterious death at19 still contains his mummy! Astonishing to look up close at my first real life mummy. The intricate details still clearly evident in the face, the fingers, the body in general makes it easy to understand and quite believable that the CGI image the experts have made of the ancient king are extremely accurate! The rest of the tomb was more modest than some of the others. This is because everything had been taken out and is now housed in the Egyptian museum in Cairo. More on that later. I spent about 40 minutes in Tut’s tomb –looking at absolutely every image, drawing, colour used, and also at one of the outer wooden casings which contained the mummy. Stunning and a must for any traveller! Next we visited the Delr Al- Bahari. Rising out of the desert in a series of plains, the Temple of Hatshepsut merges with the sheer limestone cliffs as if built by nature itself! It is partly rock-cut, partly freestanding and is acknowledged as one of the finest monuments of ancient Egypt. It was uncovered between 1891 and 1896 and houses the Chapel of Anubis – God of Mummification, the Punt Portico, the Hathor Chapel and the Temples of Montuhotep and Tutmosis III. Another eye-opener carved out of rock, the photo enclosed cannot do it justice but this was a highlight and I spent an hour looking over as much as I could. Next Mohammed, up to his old tricks, took me to an alabaster shop. Foolishly I had asked if I could look through one. It became clear once more that I was in a place of Mohammed’s mates and the bitter taste of this had me prickly, even while I was trying not to show irritation while listening to how the alabaster was made into jars, statues and the like. Eventually I brought two small statues, one of Anubis because his role in history fascinated me and, well, the statue looked cool! Also a scarab beetle – not the blue ‘under the skin’ crawling monster from the fictional ‘Mummy’ movies but the revered and worshipped holy beetle that give anyone good luck if they walked around them 10 times. I was happy, so was Mohammed! Following this it was the Valley of the Queens, similar to the Pharaoh tombs, yet smaller in structure, yet more in common with the Abu Simble temples; prettier, more colourful and more detailed than those of the men. I went through three tombs here 'Amunherkhepshef’ ‘Khaemwaset’ and ‘Tito’ – unfortunately unable to get into the most famous of all Ramses 2 favourite love- Queen ‘Nefertari’s’ tomb as it was closed for construction. Each was beautiful and splendid with its paintings remarkably preserved, perhaps the best I had seen in this regard and worthy of much more discussion and debate than I can afford here! Unforgettable in the sense of the beauty and wonder but unfortunately as I took a spell from 'mental' note taking I can offer little in detail. Still, you must see them if in Egypt! Upon returning to Luxor's East bank and population concentration it was time to visit the massive Karnak Temple. Again pictures can’t adequately describe the 5 acre 128 pylon ancient masterpiece. The king’s pool was double the length and five times the width of an Olympic swimming pool, the Rams heads lining the entrance and affording the structure a guard of honour stretched 30 or 40 wide along a huge entrance and the statues of Ramses, Tut and other legendary kings and queens were plentiful. At the centre the enormous ‘Amun Temple Enclosure’, place of worship for the Thebian triad (Amun, Mut and Khons) contains the famous hypostyle hall and a spectacular forest of giant papyrus-shaped columns. The two giant Obelisks and one that had fallen were fascinating as were the remains of a stone lever used to lift the heavy stones of the structure into place. An easy two hour stroll! I’d had enough for the day now, and certainly of Mohammed stilted commentary, but our last stop for the day right on sunset was the staggeringly impressive the Luxor Temple right in the centre of the waterfront road. A bonus that enabled me to take some stunning photographs as the sunset on the Nile drifted in slowly. Flanked by an entrance of mini sphinxes – incredibly only discovered 6 years ago, the temple is again awe inspiring, whisper talk, ‘shut up and drink it in while you have the chance’. It begged the obvious speculation, if those mini sphinxes are right in the middle of the main street and only discovered six years ago what other treasures must lay out in that entire desert and specifically, in places like Abu Simble, The Kings and Queens Valleys and the plethora of temples, tombs and ancient sites I had already been through? No market this night – much to Mohammed's chagrin, instead I burnt him off and headed into Luxor proper on a horse and cart. I found a bloke that I could trust, we hit it off well, he took me to the only beer shop around and I cracked a couple of warm ones while touring around the not so touristy areas of Luxor. This was gold! Definitely not places a tourist would come – the Egyptian market, where I had to duck my head to avoid the carpets and clothing hang from above as we wound through the narrow streets. Vendors sat crossed legged on the ground amid a sea of potatoes and onions, babies suckled from their mothers while they sewed and sold. A thriving, bustling place with no other tourist – and here in Thebes I was in ancient Egypt – the part of the city that although only has the population of Geelong – is 6,000 years old. Drink that in for a moment! My three hour tour of the streets, shops, bookstores, sheshkah shops and markets was priceless although in practical terms it cost me about $30 – probably triple what I should have paid but I was happy and so was the driver. A refreshing change to see parts of the city that 98% of tourists travelling here would not! The next day I made a mistake hiring Mohammed for the day to take me to two museums. Our tour formally had finished but he had pressed me for the extra day, as I wasn’t heading to Cairo by train until 8 p.m. that night. Under the pressure of a long, long day walking through tombs, tunnels and temples I was utterly exhausted and, wanting to blow Mohammed off for the night, I was too hasty in agreeing to this for an extra $70 or so. The Luxor Museum was stunning but was 10 minutes walk from the ship, the Mummification Museum was equally enthralling but that was only five minutes from the ship. In hindsight I should have held firm, said no, and explored Luxor and the two museums by myself. What happened was after rushing me through the Luxor museum Mohammed tried to lead me shopping again. This time I confronted him and said ‘Look, I’ll meet you at the Mummification museum at 5’, this would give 6 hours to myself and then a short wait to be picked up for the train afterwards and, admittedly less time with Mohammed who by now, I couldn’t stand the sight of! Mohammed exploded at this raving on about all sort of things, I basically walked off and said 'See ya later!' The Luxor Museum contained a variety of interesting exhibits – The Head of the Cow Goddess, Tutakhamna as Amun Amenhoteb III and the God Sobek (Pig) together – but the highlight was the new wing which houses two royal mummies – Ahmose I (founder of the 18th Dynasty) and the reputed and much debated mummy of Ramses I (founder of the 19th dynasty). The mummies are housed in a darkened room and make for a compelling if gruesome sight! One of the really interesting exhibits is the ‘Wall of Akhenaten’ that consists of series of small sandstone blocks part of Amenhotep IV’s contribution to the Karnak temple and mind blowing in the explicitness of the attention to minutiae in detail. After wandering Luxor, drinking in the city, checking email for the first time and drinking tea in sheshkah bars in the beautiful sun I met Mohammed at the Mummification museum. (The weather was around 18-24 Celsius during the day and 12 –15 at night right throughout my stay, perfect time to be in Egypt then!) I could have toured the tiny exhibit myself and read all what I was told, but anyway I marvelled at the techniques for creating a mummy. On display is the well-preserved mummy of a 21st Dynasty high priest of Amun and a host of mummified animals. Pets, wild animals, animals revered for their spirituality and status, animals from all levels of importance within ancient Egyptian society. The tools used were gruesome and visions of someone brains being vacuumed out of their head via their nose like sucking on a slurpy, sounded like something Rob Zombie may invent for his latest horror flick – but, they were real and it happened this way! One only needs 30 minutes here and a very clear sense of the specifics of mummification can be gained. One final shot from Mohammed was that despite him asking me earlier could he organize a Felucca boat ride and I declining the offer he went and did it anyway! This caused a major problem as while wandering to the mummification museum along the waterfront I had negotiated my own deal. This caused Mohammed’s guy to explode at me and argue strongly with my guy almost ending in fisticuffs. I angrily told Mohammed he could sort this out as I was going with whom I chose anyway! He was highly embarrassed but I didn’t care a hoot! I had a brilliant two hours cruising on sunset, taking turns to steer the boat with a couple of young lads (one whom was 8 years old, had no parents and the Felucca boat riders sponsored so he could go to school, paying them back by working for free – I gave him a fat tip, separate to the other payment) Mohammed even had the cheek to ring the driver, while I was on board, and ask for commission! We fixed him though, I made an arrangement with the boat rider which he was happy with and then we decided the amount what we would tell Mohammed and that just happened to be 80 Egyptian pounds, the cut off for commission. F*** you Mohammed! On getting back I could wait to get on the train and see the back of my guide. I couldn’t stand the sleaze ball now and it was an effort even to talk to him! A shame really and I know he was just trying to make a buck as are all the Egyptians, and truly this is the most intense place I’ve seen for bartering deals. Still, he was compromising his job, the company and my stay and I wasn’t having that. I gave him the minimal tip I could and got on the overnight train for Cairo looking forward to meeting up again with Hussan and seeing so much more of Cairo and its surrounds. Catching up with Hussan was terrific and after we mucked around for a couple of hours with hotel hassles we drove all the way into the heart of Cairo and the Khan al Kali market. Talk about packed, narrow and chaotic! Still – heaps of fun! At one stage we sat down for a tea and someone whipped my sandals off to clean them – when they hadn’t returned after 10 minutes I was resigned to buying a new pair of shoes. The dude eventually returned my sandals and they we sparkling – for about 25 cents! Hussan was piss taking me for my paranoia and we laughed heartily with me retorting at least we don’t have to wait until we get married to have sex – sounds cheeky I know, but this was our banter and he loved it! We spent some time looking for the ancient ‘Book of the Dead’ with no luck and after a couple of hours we returned to the hotel around 5 pm. I went exploring locally and had the most amazing falafel imaginable before hitting the sack at around 8 pm and sleeping straight through until 8 the next morning – the pace of things was starting to get to me. Day 8 was pyramid day! My new guide for the day Ahmed, a top bloke, took me back to the Pyramids of Giza and this I time crawled deep inside the Great Pyramid, this was physically taxing, crawling along a couple of hundred meters of tunnels that were just over a metre square. Geez it was well worth it though, getting deep inside and marvelling at how these structures were ever put together – I guess I’m not the only one. From here we visited the Dahshur region. Almost on par with the mighty Pyramids of Giza the Black, Red and Bent pyramids are an essential stop on any visit to Cairo. The Black pyramid of Amenemhat III has begun to collapse due to limestone thieves. The Bent Pyramid was an n architectural stuff up yet is beguiling in its appearance encouraging a long look. The red pyramid is the world’s oldest true pyramid – worth the visit then, just on that statement alone, the same architects who screwed up the bent pyramid learnt from their mistakes and build on a 43-degree angle making the structure more sustainable. I wandered around this area for some time; it was far less hectic than the Giza pyramids and was serene, almost eerie as I was one of about 5 visitors! Next was the original settlement the Cairo region (Cairo is somewhat modern compared to trets of Egypt) called ‘Memphis’ – after the requisite Elvis jokes we set out exploring and the broken statue, yet again of Ramses 2, was the highlight as well as the head of the Goddess Hathor. Every other statue is of either, you guessed it, Ramses II or the less famous but still omnipresent Amenhotep III. Memphis doesn’t really exist anymore but is more a collection of artefacts in a tiny area 24 km’s from Cairo and 3 kms’ from the Saqqara region. Finally the Saqqara region itself, a giant burial ground and cemetery for the ancient city of Memphis. Old kingdom pharaohs were built within its 11 major pyramids and hundreds of their servants were placed in smaller tombs in the great necropolis. This is a massive area! Again hardly any other visitors here as well so I spent a couple of quiet hours with Ahmed, still slack jawed by views from every angle. The incredible Stepped pyramid or Mit-Rahina is unique simply because, well, it is stepped and made unlike any other of the pyramids other sights included the Pyramid of Userkaf, closed to the public and now unfortunately, little more than a pile of rubble. Serdab is a stone structure right in front of the Heb-Sed Court ancient house of Zoser and it is incredible to stare at the ancient graffiti in the houses of the North and South. The Pyramid of Teti and its famous pyramid texts are next and the experience goes on an on and on. I would need to look through reference books to comment further somewhat embarrassingly and have already read through any notes I made in the lonely planet – when it is this hard to keep up with all the details or even some of the details ones gets the picture – other worldly, vast, captivating! We visited the carpet schools, where students learn to speak, read and write English and Arabic, do their math and then spend the afternoon learning the intricate and labour intensive skill of carpet stitching, embroidery and camel hair rug weaving. It was great to see the kids in action, learning a life enhancing skill in the poverty surrounding them and I marvelled at just how good their work was! I ended up purchasing a camel hair rug of the Sphinx image bathed in moonlight – quite the stunning piece! We then returned to the Golden Eagle Papyrus shop – were I had learned how the unique paper was made 8 days earlier. Seeing it was ‘spending day’ I purchased a light colored papyrus piece of the ‘Final Judgement’ a famous image all over Egypt and also an original piece from renown Egyptian artist Monsef Labib of, who else, Kings Ramses II– flanked by a God and His favourite Queen – Neferteria. That night it was back to the Pyramids of Giza for the third and final time to watch and listen to the sound and light show – tacky, yet informative and fun. The driver Mohammed had leant me his jacket! A great guy, his daughter had married an Australia reporter and they live here in the capital. Together with Ahmed the three of us had a meal of Koshary together with a few smokes from the sheshka – I couldn’t help wonder how these blokes would go with half a dozen VB’s under the belt! Koshary was delicious and is pasta, rice, corn, bean, onion, herbs and vinegar based dish that is very filing and goes down well with a cup of tea! The next day was the last – I couldn’t believe it had flown so fast and an extra couple of days to visit Alexandria and the Bahariyya oasis would have been ideal. Unfortunately both of these would take considerable time, something that I didn’t have much of anymore! On the final day we visited the Citadel of Salah al-Din, the residence of modern Egyptian icon Muhammad Ali Basher whose family led the country from 1800 until democracy in 1952 when his grandson Farooq handed over the country’s reins. I got some terrific ‘over Cairo’ pictures from the Citadels’ elevated position. Then it was the Egyptian museum and what a place… This deserves and essay on its own (I can hear the groans!) BUT instead I bought a beautiful giant coffee table book which will be great to look back on in the future but the main highlights for me were…King Tut’s room, simply astonishing, the solid 24 Karat gold Death Mask is the iconic image you have all seen but it was just one of three outer casing – all solid gold. Then there was the room itself, devoted to 12-15 glass case of jewellery that the King was adorned in, 15 rings, countless necklaces, belts, all gold and filled with jewels and a overabundance of sundry items, each of extraordinary value. I’d imagine, melted down, that this hoard would be worth between 500 Million and I billion dollars on its own. Staggering! Then, for a value plus 100 Egyptian pounds I entered the ‘Room of the Ancient Mummies’ – all the legends were there, of course, as though in some BC Hall Of Fame. After marvelling at the details still very distinct I came face to face with the King of them all …Ramses II – the old legend still looked grand, apart from clearly evident arthritis in the fingers and a few abbesses on his teeth the 83 year old still looked distinguished – after all, some 3,600 years on he still has his long, straggly white hair – I kid you not! The ‘Animal Mummy Room’ was next and intriguing as well, dogs, cats, birds, fish, deer, geez I don’t know, heaps of many different animals, all in mint nick, were visible. And on the way out, a final small highlight for me…face to face with the original image I’d seen everywhere the past 9 days – The original ‘Day of Judgement’ – black and white, torn, and part missing it was still a grand old scroll of paper – wished they’d made copies of the original piece rather than the pretty, but still cool image I mange to purchase. Marvellous! After two hours I wanted to stay! This is a museum you come back to for a full day and a half over three if comfortable immersion is what one desires… Finally to Old Cairo to the heart of the community and an area so serene and quaint it seemed like a picture. The Mosque of Amr Ibn al-A's was impressive, a very strict area where sensible dress is essential which was no problem – it was cold! The oldest synagogue in Egypt is housed in Old Cairo the Ben Ezra Synagogue and access to this entire area is via a sunken staircase giving the impression one is delving into another lost world, within a lost world, within a lost world – if that makes sense. Details here are sketchy, I managed to purchase the ‘Book Of The Dead’ off an old stall holder, visited the Hanging Church, named thus as it is built on top of the water gate of Roman Babylon - not anything more sinister. Next it was into Islamic Cairo for a look through several structures, the most notable being the Al-Azhar Mosque in use as a University for over a thousand years and the Mosque of Ibn Tulun one of the oldest in Egypt. After lunch we attempted to gain admission to a school unsuccessfully. I told Ahmed (and later Hussan) that this was my only complaint, as I had wanted this organized from day one and was told it would happen! Still, I got to see a Principal/Manager at the door – with no teeth or shoes! That night I walked on a road next to my Giza hotel that gave terrific views of the Pyramids once more and I took many snap shots kind of a last gasp, get all you can from ever minute type, camera shoot ala: my old buddy Mick Mirovic! And so, back at my hotel for the last night I was looking for a fitting way to end the evening and decided that Belly dancing had to be on the agenda. Through the door staff at the hotel I managed to secure a taxi driver who drove me to a club and entered as a companion as well, a good bloke and beer drinker and we had some beers for the third time since I was in the country. No one else was in the club so I ended up with a dancer, cleaner, DJ, manager and two other young ladies for company. We stayed on for a few hours and the driver went beer for beer with me……………I had a blast here and gave each of the girls a present on leaving. The driver drove me back to the hotel via the bottle shop for some more booze – not for me – for him! The next morning the driver, Mohammed and Hussan took me to the airport and warmly wished me the very best and, could I send this report and photos onto them. I will do so; I had spoken about some of Mohammed’s tricks – the only real down side of the full 10 days. Egypt is an incredible place and has surpassed Cuba, Italy, Israel, Mexico and Vietnam as the must go destination in my mind. The people are wonderful and incredibly patient, multi lingual despite a lack of formal education and have as much time for you as you have for them. The monuments and sites are unparalleled anywhere in the world for age and history and sheer quantity. The Nile River and its endless desert is a continual marvel and the foods and general culture are to be savoured. I even discovered the pleasant pop music of Amr Diab, kind of laid back easy on the ears, Egyptian Ricky Martin. (Well, no trip would be complete without some music now would it?) Memphis tours were outstanding in the service and reliability, value for money, pleasantry making one feel like family and I would recommend that anyone consider using their services if visiting Egypt! If there is one place you are going to visit before the day you die make sure it is Egypt!